Three Empty Rooms
This house is quiet now, the messes are fewer and I have plenty of time for long uninterrupted baths. The nights aren’t as long and the days feel shorter.
Three rooms that once held laughter, yelling, music, and playing now stand empty. The still moments that I’m currently living (and sometimes struggling) through are the same exact moments I prayed for during those sleepless nights. The days I cried over in the shower are the same ones I wish I could go back and do again.
The Wedding
One early morning when Dakota was just a few months old I laid us both down in my bed after a long sleepless night. I was hoping for a nap, instead I found myself lying there just staring at him. I watched his long lashes flutter while he dreamt, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, the way he turned toward me craving my presence even in his sleep, his tiny hand gripping my arm. We were a team, the two of us and I realized that while right now he was mine and I was his, one day that all would change and he would walk away.
The thought of another woman taking my place was all at once brutal and crucial. While I didn’t want to be replaced I wanted him to find and know a love like his father and I had. With tears falling while he slept peacefully beside me I quickly wrote down the words that were racing through my head. ‘You Walk Away’, was a glimpse into how I imagined our future together and I wasn’t very far off.