In My Own Time

I've always believed (maybe I was told this, I don't know) that you should start your day with God. That you should wake up and the first thing you should do is grab your coffee and your bible and sit in His presence. I've done that (irregularly) and it's nice and I truly enjoy those quiet moments; however what I've learned is that in the midst of those quiet moments I'm not only listening to what God wants to tell me. I'm watching the clock for when I need to start waking people up and thinking about what I forgot to prepare for lunch the night before and how much work is waiting for me on my desk. In those mornings when I so desperately wanted to just sit and disappear into His teachings, I don't believe I was giving Him the attention He deserved even though I was going through the motions.

This year, at the incredibly young age of 46, I've finally figured it out and y'all I couldn't be happier. When the day is done and it's definitely not quiet (my husband is semi deaf I swear...does the TV really need to be that loud?) I sit on my bed with my dogs, my bible, my journal, some fun pens and highlighters and whatever study I'm currently reading and I melt into it. I don't worry about the time or what needs to be done. I study and read and research and get lost in the message until I'm done, or until my eyes get tired or until someone comes in and wants my attention. There is no timer or worry about being late, it's just me and Him. Maybe you already figured this out and I'm late the game (I usually am) but maybe you're like me and still trying to fit the mold that you were told you were supposed to fill. Step off of that trail and find your own path...you never know what you'll discover about yourself when you do.