It’s Okay to be Rude, Period

The other day I came home for lunch and as I pulled into my driveway, I saw a truck pull on the street behind me, effectively blocking me in. As I got out of the car the young man in the driver's seat asked me who maintains my trees, which I have to say are truly magnificent. They are the largest Crepe Myrtles I’ve ever seen, and people comment on them all the time.

“I don’t know, my husband deals with all things yard work”, I respond and turn to close the door thinking that’s the end.

“Do you know if they answer the phone when he calls them?”

“What?” I respond with an attitude that can only be described as somewhat bitchy, as I think how much time this is wasting on my lunch hour and my dogs are losing their crap because I’m home but not paying attention to them yet.

“Most tree companies aren’t returning phone calls right now and I’d love to give you my card for your husband if he needs it.” Now is the time that I’m kicking myself for not just saying the truth, which is, that no one maintains the trees unless there's a massive limb hanging precariously then my husband deals with it, they’re extremely low maintenance. As this is rolling through my head, I’m also looking at this man who’s probably the age of either of my sons and I’m thinking he’s just working his ass off trying to build a business and I highly respect that as so many right now are trying not to work.

He’s smiling and holding the card out of the window, so I say “sure” and start walking towards the truck, about halfway down the driveway I take a pause realizing that it’s full of men and what in the actual hell am I doing. This is possibly how I will become the victim on one of the Dateline/True Crime podcasts I love to listen to but it’s too late now, I’m halfway there. Wait, what? No, it’s not!

I take the card and he reaches his calloused dirty hand out the window and says his name and asks mine, once again I pause, if I take his hand I’ve made it even easier on him if his intent is harm, but if I don’t then I’m being rude and disrespectful (false). I’ve been trained to always be nice, pleasant and courteous so I take his hand, tell him my real name and turn around and walk back up the driveway.

As I lock the door of the house behind me with all the dogs inside, it’s then I realize just how very stupid I was.

Here’s the deal, my first instinct was most likely correct, he was a hard-working honest young man doing his best to make a living, but that doesn’t matter. It could easily have gone a different way and I’m angry that I put myself in that situation which was completely avoidable. Had my daughter or future daughter-in-law done this I would’ve fussed at them but I didn’t want to be rude to this guy so I wasn’t, which put me in danger.

Ladies (of all ages) let me shout this from the rooftop and say it louder in the back for all to hear.

IT IS OKAY TO BE RUDE TO REMAIN SAFE.

Seriously it is, and if a man doesn’t understand or respect that then either he doesn’t have any women in his life that he cares about (red flag) or he’s someone you definitely shouldn’t trust. I can promise you that every self-respecting man in my life would one hundred percent understand that if a woman feels danger she is allowed to be rude, period!

In retrospect, I should have told him I wasn’t interested but thank you. I should have said you can leave your card on my mailbox. If he thought I was being rude that’s not my problem.

I had considered writing about this when it first happened but life got in the way and I didn’t. Kind of like I haven’t really written anything in forever because once again, life. I was listening to a podcast though and they were talking to Gavin De Becker, the author of a book that is now at the top of my to-read list titled, The Gift of Fear. The book tells stories of individuals who have survived by listening to their gut instinct of fear.

That random spring day I felt fear walking up to that truck but didn’t want to be disrespectful, so I didn’t listen to it. I knew better and still did what we’ve been taught as women, which is to be nice.

We don’t always have to be nice, it is okay to be rude to remain safe, period.

One of the two amazing Crepe Myrtles in my front yard.