Lucy’s First Calf

My beautiful Lucy girl had her first calf tonight, stillborn. She was a heifer with a little white face and white chest. She was only about 55/60 pounds and was breech, Lucy did so good delivering her.

I can’t explain how much it hurt to see her watching Craig so closely as he did everything he could to save her calf. When we realized there was nothing we could do we watched her continue to clean that sweet baby, to nudge her, to give little grunts talking to her. I sat watching that beautiful creature doing everything right, everything she was supposed to do, and nothing worked.

As she cleaned her baby I crouched down beside her and told her how good she did, and how proud I was of her. I told her she didn’t do anything wrong, and that she had a beautiful little heifer.

I didn’t grow up with livestock so I haven’t built a tough shell, (do you ever?) so I’m broken. I’m broken for Lucy and the loss a mother feels for her child. I’m broken for Craig and I who put so much time, money, and energy into this “hobby” of ours. I’m broken for me who couldn’t wait to love on my Lucy girl’s first calf. I’m broken.

Nature is cruel but watching Lucy give birth and then instinctively take care of her calf, even in death, that’s beautiful. We will breed her back in due time and she will go on to have more beautiful babies and will be an excellent mama. God is good, even when we’re broken, angry, and don’t understand, God is good. (Though I’m not really loving 2024 yet y’all.)