Talk Less and Listen More
I have Bible verses that I rotate on my desk daily, it’s my way of making sure that I’m reading at least one verse every day even if that’s all the studying I get in. When I’m struggling I can just cast my eyes to the verse and be in the word without much effort. Maybe this is all considered cheating or too easy, I know I should make more of an effort to set aside time for my studies, but I’m human and fallible and so this is what I can do, and honestly, right now I’m doing the best I can y’all.
The other day I was having a particularly rough day and when I flipped to the next verse and read it all I could think was nope! Psalm 139:23 says, “Search me, God, and know my heart; / test me and know my anxious thoughts.” Wait, what? TEST ME? At that moment when I read those words it didn’t calm my spirit it made my anxiety jump, this is not the appropriate response y’all! I don’t need my anxious thoughts tested, I need them to go away!
Yes, I’m well aware that that’s not what the verse means, I’m well aware that at that moment David was asking God to search his heart to find if he had sin lying there but it just pointed out to me how easily words can be misconstrued, how such innocent words spoken in good faith can be heard and processed by another person negatively. I often feel like when I’m anxious, frustrated, or angry the people in my life get my wrath when they say something and I take it the wrong way. On the flip side, I know how easy it is to say something innocently trying to help someone I love and they take it completely differently.
Sometimes words are hard, emotions are raw and what we want to say isn’t always what’s heard. I think we need to talk less and listen more maybe if we pause to hear what the other person is saying we’d respond better or not respond at all because sometimes a response isn’t needed, only an ear. Maybe if I had read Psalm 139:23 on a day when I wasn’t feeling anxious I wouldn’t have had such a strong reaction, but then I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this instead of getting much-needed sleep.