My Friend Brian
This afternoon I will attend the memorial service for a friend that I have known since I was just a kid. You often hear people say that a memorial service or a funeral is saying goodbye to their loved ones and that’s probably true in most circumstances; but today I am so thankful to say that I’m not saying goodbye to my friend, because I had the incredible opportunity to do so before his beautiful soul left this flawed world.
Brian was one of my very first friends, I don’t have very many memories that don’t include him. In elementary school I made the tragic mistake of bringing my favorite teddy bear to school with me. (Yes, I was probably too old to take a ‘lovie’ to school but we were going somewhere after and I wanted Pookie with me.) Anyway, that day on the playground I had my Pookie bear and Brian, being a young boy, grabbed my beloved teddy bear and pulled. Me, not being one to ever back down, pulled right back. As I stood there holding my fuzzy teddy bear, Brian stood across from me holding the arm. I still remember the look of shock on his face when he realized what had happened, as I cried that sweet boy flushed the most adorable shade of pink while telling me over and over he was sorry. To be honest that moment is probably why he spent approximately the next 10 plus years of our adolescence trying to take care of me.
During the junior high years he teased me mercilessly all while defending me if anyone else dared to say an unkind word about my skinny long legs, overly permed big hair, braces or incredibly loud mouth (all the things he always teased me about). As we stepped into what we perceived to the be the big scary high school we clung to each other and quickly found our ground. We each found our places that we belonged in the school and while we were in different activities we never allowed those activities to come between us. When he worked lights for the musical I sat back stage with him. When I danced with the drill team under the Friday night lights he would seek me out at half time. We were each other’s biggest cheerleaders and protectors. He tried to talk me out of dating certain people and then let me cry on his shoulder when it went south, as he knew it always would. We went for rides in his truck with his crazy sound system blaring from the back. We went two-stepping more times than I can count and to this day he is still my favorite dance partner. (It’s ok y’all Craig knows and is totally ok with it.) Freshman year we both had dates to the junior/senior prom and made sure we took a picture together while we were there. Junior year we decided we would go with each other and had the best time ever, I seem to remember a small food fight as we sat under a massive fake tree in the corner of the restaurant. Senior year, when I went with my now husband, Brian came over before he picked up his date so that I could see how handsome he was. We had our high school graduation party together and he was in my wedding.
Then life happened and we didn’t see each other as much, we were both busy working and building our own lives and started having kids; and while we never quit being friends, we just lost touch. That’s life right?
I’m not a hugger, I don’t give them out easily, it’s just not in my comfort zone (family yes, but others not so much). Brian always got hugs from me freely though, full body, squeeze you tight hugs, I guess he was special and boy did he know it! On the Saturday before we lost this most precious man. I went to Brian and Heather’s house and knelt in front of that beautiful boy and hugged him. For over two hours we sat and talked and reminisced and laughed and I didn’t cry but only because he told me “No tears!” That day, that hug holds so much peace and joy in my heart but my favorite part was when he looked straight at me and said, “Why are you upset to be 48 Kimbo?” I was stunned to be honest with you, I hadn’t told him I was struggling with my age, I hadn’t told him I was struggling with life, I hadn’t mentioned anything about it and was trying to hide it well from the world. Brian could always read me though, hiding things from him was never an option. His crystal clear blue eyes always saw right through my façade.
The words we spoke to each other after that question are private and just for the people in that room but I was reminded once again of just why I love him so much! His positivity to a not always easy life. His wise words lending counsel and straight up brutal honesty to anyone who would listen. His infectious smile that lit up every room he entered. The way he never once met a stranger. The way he could cut a rug like no one’s business. The way he would be there for me or anyone else who needed him no matter what. The way he was always the positive light to my usually negative outlook. The way he looked at the love of his life on the day they got married. While everyone was looking at the beautiful bride, I was looking at my friend and loving the complete and utter joy on his face.
Today, I’m not saying goodbye to my friend Brian because I was blessed enough to get to say goodbye along with a full body hug and a lot of laughs. Today, I will be honoring his incredible wife who cherished him and allowed him to be who he was meant to be. Today, I will be honoring his mother and father who created one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met. Today, I will honor the memory of my friend Brian (who was truly my brother) and while I can’t promise that there won’t be tears Bubba, I do promise to forever remember the words you spoke to me and do the absolute best to live them every single day. You, my friend, made a difference and I’ll love you forever for that and so much more.
