Rekindling our Kids
I love Podcasts and have an eclectic library of murder mysteries, pop culture, current events and everything in between. One of my favorites is called C3 NYC, a weekly church service based in NYC, not only for the messages shared but listening to the lead pastor is a bonus.
A little known fact about me is that I love an Australian accent and Josh Kelsey, the lead pastor, is from Sydney. Y’all, if I can listen to the word of God being shared in an empowering message delivered with an Aussie accent, I’m all about it!
In the latest episode titled Rekindle, Josh stated that “We not only need to build a fire in our own lives but we need to be conscious of adding kindling to other people’s fire. We need to be building others up, not throwing negativity and criticism on them while inadvertently snuffing out their flame.” That simple yet powerful image stopped me in my tracks as it seems so easy to do just that to our kids.
When my three were in elementary school they filled out an “All About Me” poster, it asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” On parent night we were able to see the posters for the whole class, there were the usual responses; firefighter, police officer, teacher. You also saw, I want to be famous, or a dog (my favorite), or an astronaut. When they proudly showed us their poster we didn’t say “That’s not realistic, aim lower.” We encouraged them by checking out library books, letting them dress up as that for Halloween and run around in their dad’s race car helmet because it looked like an “astronaut hat”.
Ty in his dad’s race care helmet also useful as an astronaut costume ☺
If we didn’t snuff out their flames when they were little, why do we feel the need to when they’re older? I don’t think we need to support every crazy idea they have; but I think we can ask questions to get them thinking, allowing them to come to their own conclusions, and make their own informed decisions.
I recently overheard someone say “Not every opinion in my head needs to be spoken out loud.” I think this is a great reminder as parents of not only teens but also our adult children. We raised them with our values. Now it’s time to trust them to carry on the legacy and live the life of their dreams, not ours.