I Am Worthy
The last two weeks were rough, y'all. I was overly emotional about some things and appropriately emotional about others; yet all the while I just kept moving forward. That doesn't sound like a big deal but sometimes just getting out of bed is a lot and the last few days that's where I was.
Tuesday, Craig asked if I could take Friday off with him. All I could think was 'Dude! I'm swamped, overwhelmed and exhausted’. My response instead was "I'm not sure".
"No problem, just let me know." No pressure was placed on me even though not knowing probably put pressure on him. Instead, he left me with an open-ended invitation which allowed me to relax. That minor gesture was enough but there is more to this story.
Thursday, I realized I could take Friday off and let him know, he immediately responded with “Great, I have plans!” Y'all, those plans made by this man (who is also under pressure) was only making sure I felt loved, relaxed and protected. It started with breakfast at my favorite place (not his), followed by a cold day spent in front of the fire with movies I would choose (not him - John Wayne didn’t come on screen even once). He took Lorrie and I for coffee and to Home Depot (her favorite place) so that he could build me a bathtub tray and when he went to the store he came home with flowers "just because they reminded me of you".
He gave me a three-day weekend full of zero responsibilities, love and adoration. He removed every bit of pressure he could from my shoulders allowing me to completely relax. He didn’t do it because I asked, he did it because he thought I deserved it. Over the years I’ve often wondered if I was good enough and used to say I didn't deserve him and while I still have doubts, I've quit saying those words aloud because they state that I'm unworthy of a beautiful, selfless love. I'm not though, y’all. I was blessed with the most amazing man because I am worthy, he has spent the last thirty years trying to convince me of that and I’m finally starting to believe him.
I am loved by a beautiful, selfless man, and I am worthy of his love. On the hardest days, that's all I really need to remember, well that and to keep moving forward.
He literally makes me swoon.