Let them Sleep

I recently overheard a conversation between a group of moms with college age kids. They were complaining about when their kids come home to visit they sleep so much. They were frustrated and hurt, rightfully so. We have so little time with our ‘adult’ children that we want to spend as much time with them as possible. We want to soak up every single second that we have them under our roof again. I understand and empathize with that notion. I crave time with my kids when they’re home, I love the late night counter top chats, the quiet nights by the fire pits, the sound of their friends cars pulling into the driveway to see them. Every single bit of it is precious. Including the moments when they fall asleep watching a movie, the quiet mornings Craig and I sit in the den with coffee and muffins waiting for their bedroom doors to open. The Saturday afternoons that they prefer to nap on the sofa beside me instead of doing anything else.

I get what these moms are thinking, “they can sleep when they go back to their apartment or dorms. They can rest then, now is my time, time to visit with me.”

I just don’t agree. When my kids come home to sleep I know it’s because here they can fully relax. When they don’t make it all the way through the evening movie I know it’s because they don’t feel the need to entertain their friends with constant conversation and can instead be comfortable in the silence. When they sleep late in the mornings it’s because they’re back in their childhood bed in the room that carries so many good memories. They know when they wake I’ll be there with coffee and food and for even just a weekend they can be a kid again.

I may not be the norm and I’m sure it’ll be said that I’m spoiling them. I am and I’m totally ok with that because life isn’t always fun and adulting can be some seriously stupid stuff.

Do you remember those times when you were up all night with a crying infant or sick kid? Do you remember how it felt on those rare mornings to hear the sound of your husband getting up and quietly shutting the bedroom door so you can get just a bit more sleep? Hearing that door close, knowing he was giving me the gift of uninterrupted rest gave me such a feeling of being loved, respected and cared for. I knew he realized what I needed and loved me enough to honor me in such a way. If I can give my kids a weekend of that feeling, a feeling of being a kid again, a night of restful sleep, an environment where they can completely let go and relax, then I’m glad our home can be that place for them.

I had two of the three home this weekend and I loved every second of it (missed the third so much), even when they were behind their closed door asleep. They’re all back to their own places now, spread out across two states but I hope that they never forget that they can always come home to sleep.

A blurry photo from a simpler time.